Well yall, it's time for my first quote and I gotta tell ya-I love this one!  It's from the book "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller.
"It feels better to have people love the real me than the me I invented."
I've had a few people inform me lately that they think I "have it all together".  To be honest, I don't know whether to laugh or cry.  Laugh because it's so far from the truth that it's comical, or cry because I've led people to believe a lie and for that I apologize.  So today, I am dispelling the rumors.
Spend one day in my house or better yet, ask my husband and children, and they will tell you that I do NOT "have it all together".  They love me so they will probably try and sugar coat it but they know the truth.  I'm extremely impatient and quick to lose my temper and yell.  I'm very lazy and the worst procrastinator.  Sometimes I don't keep my promises.  I have a lot of fear and doubt in me that causes many problems.  And please tell me there is another mother out there that will admit that she does not like to play!!! (I feel so guilty about that all the time.)  I'm pretty critical and manipulative.  I struggle tremedously with pride, rebellion and legalism.  I could go on and on but I just wanted to give you a glimpse of who you're dealing with here.  I don't tell you all these things to come down on myself or beat myself up.  Actually, there's great freedom in it.  Now, I am free to have relationships with others based on honesty.  No holds barred interaction we can learn from and change from.
I will tell you this-if there is anything in my life that is "together", it is because Jesus put it together and He's holding it together!  I don't have to hide my weaknesses but I can "boast gladly" about them because it gives me the opportunity to show all that Christ can do in a life.  I still want you to like me but I'd much rather you like the Jesus in me-it's much better.  I know it may sound cliche, but God really likes me.  I could pick the petals off all the flowers in the world and I will always end up with "He loves me".  I need to know that and really believe it or I'm a mess.
Hey!  I found something that I've just got to tell ya!  I'm not a Bible scholar so I really hope I'm not misinterpreting Scripture.  Romans 4:17 says"God. . . calls things that are not as if they were".  I believe it is talking about how God can create things out of nonexistance but I'm encouraged by what may just be a bonus meaning.  He calls me like He sees me-no hiding it.  But He also sees me as I COULD be!  Anybody else need to know that besides me?  Through the lens of Christ, He sees me as patient, gentle of speech, a hard worker, a promise keeper, loving, unselfish, humble, obedient and full of grace!  How's that for self-esteem?!  He's redeemed me ya'll!  I can't get over it and I hope I never do.