Who knows what this post will look like.  Usually, I have something written out even if it's just a few ideas and notes.  But today,  the brain is foggy and my house is dirty (again!) so I will be writing during cleaning breaks.  Also, as I'm writing I hear Sam and Ella Rose arguing (again!) so I guess I will also be writing during referee breaks as well.  It kinda sounds like I'm in a grumpy mood but actually that's not the case.  I'm really enjoying the soaking rain we've been getting all morning.  Everything looks greener and I just love the smell of rain.  It's Friday and we've all made it through the week.  You can already feel the restlessness in the air as all the kids are sensing that the school year is almost over-no more homework and getting up early (and for me, no more car rider line-YAHOO!)  I hope to get a lot accomplished today cleaning wise.  I complain alot about having to clean but on the bright side, cleaning time is where I get to listen to all my music AND I get a lot of my thinkin' done while I clean.  Already, I've been thinking about a bible study I just finished with a group of incredible ladies.  I am planning on facilitating the study with some of my girlfriends in the near future.  Let me rephrase, God is planning on me facilitating the study.  My question is why in the world would He want ME to do it?!   The title of my blog has the words "crazy" and "mess" in it for crying out loud!   It should be obvious that I do NOT have my stuff together!  BUT, I realize that the crazy mess may be me but the beautiful part, well, that's all God.  Once again, it's not about me and what I've done, it's about who He is and what He has done and is doing in spite of me.  When I'm unfaithful (which is often), He's still relentlessly faithful.  When I'm confused and don't know what to do, He is seeing the whole picture and in His wisdom is orchestrating everything for His purpose and my good.  When I feel like I'm about to unravel, He's still lovingly and gracefully holding all things together.  When I think "Oh, I can't do that!", He's saying "Good, now that we've got that straightened out, let Me get to work in you.  I've got an adventure I want to take you on girl!"  It's mind boggling actually!  Well, I didn't intend to go into the meaning behind the name of my blog but I warned you that I didn't know what this post would look like.  I guess it's  kind of appropriate since this is the first official post under the new name.  As far as the Bible study goes, I told God I would do it.  I shook my head in that  "I hope You know what You're doing" sort of way.  I mean, I haven't matured past the "crazy mess" part yet.  But I guess maybe He sees, that for all I lack, at least I know that He put the "beautiful" in the middle of my "crazy mess"!